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They send first messages endlessly with no results and constantly tell me how useless it is. I’ve heard countless horror stories and can’t blame women for being cautious.Therefore, I have made it my mission over the last year to really decipher the online dating code. Your only goal in the first message is to assure her that you’re a normal guy.It's presumptuous to list a bunch of unrequested information about yourself in your message, because doing so assumes that this person already thinks of you as a candidate.

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They don’t know you, they haven’t met you face-to-face, and they don’t want to get stuck on a bad date.

In my research, I’ve found that a woman’s #1 fear online is that a guy will be awkward, creepy, or intense in-person.

You accomplish this by creating a fun, enjoyable atmosphere that gets her excited to reply.

To start, there’s one thing you should know that will greatly affect your response rates… I did a huge post about it and nearly all of the profiles I critique suffer from crappy photos. The guys don’t smile, are unkempt, and look like the dating site murderer (pictured above).

We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.