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You can actually swipe through five pictures on some profiles and still be none the wiser as to which woman you're meant to be admiring. Yes, you also have hot friends: Me too, and I look like a mongrel standing next to a monument. Has anyone ever taken a picture of you, except you? A quote about surviving heartbreak and being stronger than a panther-like Indian deity that gave birth to the sun?

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OPINION: There seems to be quite an online cottage industry nowadays advising men what not to do on their dating profiles.

Better still, other users of these services love to name and shame dudes who fall afoul of the namer and shamer's self-constructed etiquette for advertising oneself for sex, marriage or penpal. I enjoy being hit on by petite brunettes with blue eyes and their own machine learning startup who dig older men and long chats about Douglas Hofstadter, but will settle for a petite brunette with blue eyes.

As you start cruising into your mid-30s, you may suddenly notice that many of your friends seem to be pairing off and starting families.

If you find yourself the lone singleton in a crowd of marrieds, the tick of your own biological clock can sound pretty loud: Why them, not me?

I for one have jigged, re-jigged and completely deleted dating app profiles, depending on my mood.